Over the last 2 years there's been a decline in facebook statuses.
Is this because:
a) My facebook friends are getting older and busier
b) Twitter has grown so more people are tweeting rather than status updating
c) Statuses have become less cool (the more you update, the more obvious it is that you don't have a life)
Whatever the reason i'm pretty happy about it. The status updating did get to a point where it was getting ridiculous.
`I'm awake', `i'm off to have some breakfast', `my cat is also awake', `must feed my cat now, lol', 'time to go back upstairs and get changed' etc. There's just no need for that much information, i don't give a shit what you're doing every second of the day - this is not a personal diary, if you want a stalker i'm sure there's easier ways.
The reason why facebook changed the question in the status box from `what are you doing right now?' to `what's on your mind?' was probably to prompt more exciting statuses and prevent mass murder.
Let's be honest, the only statuses we really like are the more offensive and entertaining.
Frapes for example, you never get bored of reading a good frape.
Wednesday, 6 April 2011
Monday, 28 March 2011
Tube seats
If you're lucky enough to get a seat on the underground, the problems only just begin.
There's signs and posters encouraging 'seat holders' to offer their seats to pregnant women, the disabled and elderly people.

The first problem with this theory is deciding who is eligible for the 'disabled, elderly & pregnant' category.
What's the tipping point between being kind and rude?
How do you know what age is appropriate?
You might offend a old looking 50 year old...
Or even worse, mistake a fat woman for being pregnant.
Where are the guidelines?
If someone has one arm, does this make them more worthy of your seat?
I'd rather avoid these situations by standing.
If you do end up sitting the best technique is to keep your eyes down. Never look up, then you can't get it wrong. Even better, make sure you pick up the Evening Standard - then you're clearly to engrossed in your newspaper to notice the frail 80 year old collapsing directly in front of you.
Problem sorted!
There's signs and posters encouraging 'seat holders' to offer their seats to pregnant women, the disabled and elderly people.

The first problem with this theory is deciding who is eligible for the 'disabled, elderly & pregnant' category.
What's the tipping point between being kind and rude?
How do you know what age is appropriate?
You might offend a old looking 50 year old...
Or even worse, mistake a fat woman for being pregnant.
Where are the guidelines?
If someone has one arm, does this make them more worthy of your seat?
I'd rather avoid these situations by standing.
If you do end up sitting the best technique is to keep your eyes down. Never look up, then you can't get it wrong. Even better, make sure you pick up the Evening Standard - then you're clearly to engrossed in your newspaper to notice the frail 80 year old collapsing directly in front of you.
Problem sorted!
Friday, 25 March 2011
Friday, 18 March 2011
The Lottery
There are 2 things you think when you turn 16:
1) I can legally have sex
2) I can buy a lottery ticket
I do the lottery online ever week like millions of people in desperate hopes of winning the jackpot. But then again i'd be happy with just mere £10,000. I'm not greedy.
In the 4 months i've been playing it i've won a grand total of (drum roll please...) £20.
So fair enough people win, people lose but the other day i read a story about a couple winning the jackpot not just once, but TWICE! Why would you still need to play the lottery after winning? This is just unfair.
And if you think that's bad, someone in the US has won five times!
I'd like to propose a new rule to the national lottery, previous winners can only win the jackpot once and then should leave the lottery to the poorer people and get on with their rich, enjoyable lives.
1) I can legally have sex
2) I can buy a lottery ticket
I do the lottery online ever week like millions of people in desperate hopes of winning the jackpot. But then again i'd be happy with just mere £10,000. I'm not greedy.
In the 4 months i've been playing it i've won a grand total of (drum roll please...) £20.
So fair enough people win, people lose but the other day i read a story about a couple winning the jackpot not just once, but TWICE! Why would you still need to play the lottery after winning? This is just unfair.
And if you think that's bad, someone in the US has won five times!
I'd like to propose a new rule to the national lottery, previous winners can only win the jackpot once and then should leave the lottery to the poorer people and get on with their rich, enjoyable lives.
Saturday, 5 March 2011
One of my favourite time wasting sites
Thursday, 24 February 2011
Wednesday, 16 February 2011
Urges
Before reading this just know I AM NOT CRAZY
Do you ever get a sudden urge to do something?
It could be as simple as slapping your friend in the face for no reason or even jumping in front of a car... I remember having them at school when i was younger, feeling the sudden urge to climb on to a table and shout abuse at everyone..? They seem to strike now when i'm waiting at a crossing or just before a train comes worryingly. Apparently these are quite common and called intrusive thoughts. You imagine these disturbing situations like swerving your car into oncoming traffic and pulling down your trousers at work.
I'm guessing the only difference between a person in a psychiatric hospital and a 'normal' person (probably incorrect term) is that you don't act on them.
Fingers crossed!
http://purgetheurge.com/ somewhere to put your urges
Do you ever get a sudden urge to do something?
It could be as simple as slapping your friend in the face for no reason or even jumping in front of a car... I remember having them at school when i was younger, feeling the sudden urge to climb on to a table and shout abuse at everyone..? They seem to strike now when i'm waiting at a crossing or just before a train comes worryingly. Apparently these are quite common and called intrusive thoughts. You imagine these disturbing situations like swerving your car into oncoming traffic and pulling down your trousers at work.
I'm guessing the only difference between a person in a psychiatric hospital and a 'normal' person (probably incorrect term) is that you don't act on them.
Fingers crossed!
http://purgetheurge.com/ somewhere to put your urges
Monday, 7 February 2011
Tanning salon marketing
I really don't get the marketing strategy here:

Where did salons manage to make the link between people liking to tan and giant animal costumes with fluorescent jackets?
This is the best that i could come up with,
Tanning -> Orange skin -> Flourescent jacket?
Tanning -> Appearance -> Looking like and animal?
Hmmmm....

Where did salons manage to make the link between people liking to tan and giant animal costumes with fluorescent jackets?
This is the best that i could come up with,
Tanning -> Orange skin -> Flourescent jacket?
Tanning -> Appearance -> Looking like and animal?
Hmmmm....
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
Dodging charity
Whenever you see a person up ahead holding a clipboard and wearing a red jacket or blue t-shirt, you can't help but think 'how can i dodge this person'.
You immediately know it's a charity and they're going to ask for money. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just cash they wanted, but you know that it isn't. They want to take your bank account details and rope you into life long commitment.

Once i was stopped by a guy, so i said upfront 'if your going to ask for my bank details, you're wasting your time'. He said no, no and began reeling of the facts and figures. After 2 minutes of uncomfortable eye contact and nodding he asked for it! I'd be much more willing to give them money if it was just cash, but this whole bank details thing is crazy.
The best technique i've found is to follow someone else's path in front of you, they'll get stopped and you can just slip past without getting caught. Or even better, wear headphones.
You immediately know it's a charity and they're going to ask for money. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just cash they wanted, but you know that it isn't. They want to take your bank account details and rope you into life long commitment.

Once i was stopped by a guy, so i said upfront 'if your going to ask for my bank details, you're wasting your time'. He said no, no and began reeling of the facts and figures. After 2 minutes of uncomfortable eye contact and nodding he asked for it! I'd be much more willing to give them money if it was just cash, but this whole bank details thing is crazy.
The best technique i've found is to follow someone else's path in front of you, they'll get stopped and you can just slip past without getting caught. Or even better, wear headphones.
Friday, 21 January 2011
Razor blades
Razors are beginning to get bit ridiculous as they keep adding extra blades on.
Why don't they just make a couple efficient blades instead?
At this rate it will end up with a razor that's the entire width of you face.
Gillette have been the first razor brand to identify this quite obvious problem and produced this spoof ad with an 80 blade razor:
I bet Wilkinson Sword are kicking themselves... 'Damn why didn't we see this. It's not quantity, it's quality!'
Why don't they just make a couple efficient blades instead?
At this rate it will end up with a razor that's the entire width of you face.
Gillette have been the first razor brand to identify this quite obvious problem and produced this spoof ad with an 80 blade razor:
I bet Wilkinson Sword are kicking themselves... 'Damn why didn't we see this. It's not quantity, it's quality!'
Friday, 14 January 2011
Deja vu
The french word meaning 'already seen'.
We've all experienced Deja vu, but have you ever had a double Deja vu or maybe even triple?
This is not uncommon apparently, i've had a triple Deja vu, which is the strangest feeling.
You could say 3 times stranger (lame).
It's weird enough to experience something that feels like it has been experienced before. But then to feel like you've experienced the unexperienced experience before is even weirder. And to feel an experience that was unexperienced in an experience that was unexperienced is crazy. I don't even know if that makes any sense.
Basically to repeat something that has never happened is really eerie. To then recognise a time when you repeated the never happened occasion your now repeating is a double deja vu.
This is beginning to sound like an Inception spin-off.
We've all experienced Deja vu, but have you ever had a double Deja vu or maybe even triple?
This is not uncommon apparently, i've had a triple Deja vu, which is the strangest feeling.
You could say 3 times stranger (lame).
It's weird enough to experience something that feels like it has been experienced before. But then to feel like you've experienced the unexperienced experience before is even weirder. And to feel an experience that was unexperienced in an experience that was unexperienced is crazy. I don't even know if that makes any sense.
Basically to repeat something that has never happened is really eerie. To then recognise a time when you repeated the never happened occasion your now repeating is a double deja vu.
This is beginning to sound like an Inception spin-off.
Friday, 7 January 2011
Book before film?
Is it best to read the book before you watch the film or vice versa?
Normally i'd say the book first as it takes a lot longer, therefore not knowing what will happen makes it more readable.
However, on this occasion it hasn't worked out that way. I read 127 hours before watching it and to be honest was really disappointed. I've seen tonnes of great reviews but i don't think it was half as good as the book.
The problem with a book is, it can hold a lot more information and detail. 10 pages of a book is like 10 seconds of a film. It also allows you to interpret the book however you want, your imagination never matches the scenery in the film.
Still, i suppose it's less total amount of time spent let down if the film is second.
If it's the book, your talking days of disappointment.
127 hours
Film 5/10

Book 10/10
Normally i'd say the book first as it takes a lot longer, therefore not knowing what will happen makes it more readable.
However, on this occasion it hasn't worked out that way. I read 127 hours before watching it and to be honest was really disappointed. I've seen tonnes of great reviews but i don't think it was half as good as the book.
The problem with a book is, it can hold a lot more information and detail. 10 pages of a book is like 10 seconds of a film. It also allows you to interpret the book however you want, your imagination never matches the scenery in the film.
Still, i suppose it's less total amount of time spent let down if the film is second.
If it's the book, your talking days of disappointment.
127 hours
Film 5/10

Book 10/10
Thursday, 30 December 2010
Top 2010 inventions
The unofficial top 10 inventions for 2010:
At number 10)
The no-hands needed umbrella

9)
The underwear&jeans Jeans

8)
The lipstick template

7)
Easy to access tissue dispenser

6)
Dustpan and brush shoes

5)
Butterstick

4)
Food cooler

3)
Portable office tie

2)
Flip Flop drinks container

And the top 2010 inventon is:
The plunger stuck to a helmet to prevent your head dropping when you sleep on public transport!

The Japanese have thought of everything!
At number 10)
The no-hands needed umbrella

9)
The underwear&jeans Jeans

8)
The lipstick template

7)
Easy to access tissue dispenser

6)
Dustpan and brush shoes

5)
Butterstick

4)
Food cooler

3)
Portable office tie

2)
Flip Flop drinks container

And the top 2010 inventon is:
The plunger stuck to a helmet to prevent your head dropping when you sleep on public transport!

The Japanese have thought of everything!
Tuesday, 21 December 2010
Spy holes
I thought the whole purpose of a spy hole was to be able to spy on whoever's outside, without them knowing you're in.

This makes me wonder why some front doors have spy holes even when the door has glass windows? It's hardly spying when the person outside can see you clearer than you can see them...
If you had a slim rectangular body maybe it would work but i'm yet to come across a person with a rectangular head. You'd also have to walk up to the door directly central which could be difficult.
Spy holes on glass doors are a FAIL if you ask me.

This makes me wonder why some front doors have spy holes even when the door has glass windows? It's hardly spying when the person outside can see you clearer than you can see them...
If you had a slim rectangular body maybe it would work but i'm yet to come across a person with a rectangular head. You'd also have to walk up to the door directly central which could be difficult.
Spy holes on glass doors are a FAIL if you ask me.
Monday, 13 December 2010
Canned foods
I received a special request for a blog about chicken in a can.

Yes, a whole chicken in a can.
Unfortunately i couldn't find the price for chicken in a can, but to be honest i don't think it will cost much judging by the look of it.
Whilst on the subject, i've collected a few more unusual canned foods:



Ok, the last product might not be true......yet.
Dedicated to Fran.

Yes, a whole chicken in a can.
If you're feeling intrigued and brave, here's a video that might settle some of that curiosity.
Unfortunately i couldn't find the price for chicken in a can, but to be honest i don't think it will cost much judging by the look of it.
Whilst on the subject, i've collected a few more unusual canned foods:



Ok, the last product might not be true......yet.
Dedicated to Fran.
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