Dentists

Why do dentists ask you questions when they have your mouth clamped open with a metal rod poking into your speaking hole?

Also, i know that they secretly love watching you when you opt to take a swig of the 'pink drink' and dribble all down yourself because your face is paralyzed. Bastards.

Job interviews

Inspirational.

Let's play pretend radio!

The ultimate game when i was younger. It was so sophisticated, me and my sister had tapes and cd's at the ready! We even planned our radio time schedule to help things run smoothly.
I think for me the best moment was when we played 'The Lion King's - Hakunah Matata'. Yes, classy taste in music - even at a young age.

The limits seemed endless playing pretend radio, there was music, fake weather reports, competitions and even adverts. I'm sure radio presenting has been everyone's dream at least once.

The Sandwich

When i was younger i had serious issues with sandwiches. I could not eat them, especially when they'd been sitting for 4 hours in your school bag. I don't know if it was the clingfilm or the fact that they were cut into rectangles and not triangular, but i could not put them in my mouth.
This phobia had consequences. Once i was sent to the headteachers office because i was caught hiding my sandwiches behind the toilet. I got into trouble for throwing them under the school dinner table and also got caught hiding them up my cardigan sleeve!

Eventually i developed a plan - throw them in the street bin before i enter school!

What's weird is that the minute i left school, sandwiches were fine...? And currently i even work in a sandwich shop!

I know at least 2 other people that had these issues too, and thinking about it now im pretty sure it could of been prevented if only the sandwiches were cut into triangles.

How much does it take to make you bend over?

A couple weeks ago i was walking the streets of Lincoln when i saw a £5 note fluttering at the side of the road. Unfortunately, before i saw this i had just planned to overtake a couple that i slightly knew. They were still pretty close behind me so i couldn't stop to pick it up. I don't know why? It was £5! I had a quick thought that i could stop to do a 'shoelace' up but then remembered i was wearing boots. I regret this moment so much, i'd be £5 richer right now if i didn't overtake. I always thought £1 would be my bend over point, saying that i've walked past a few £1's in my time due to circumstances.

Basically i need to come up with a plan for if this situation ever happens again. I could pretend to trip onto the money? Or suddenly collapse? Drop my bag because it suddenly weighs ALOT... £5... what was i thinking. I think the problem is that i was thinking.

Durex

I just think this ad needs to be here...

Embarrassing running

Last week i spent a lot of my time on trains or waiting for them. It amuses me when people are running for trains or buses because it's pretty embarassing and usually they have plenty of time. It's one of those runs where you try to look as cool and effortless as possible, but at the same time your terrified about getting left behind. You get paranoid the people across the platform that have just witnessed you run will still be there ashamed of you and your run.

Basically me and charlotte(creative partner) had a giggle when we were waiting for our train. We were pretty relaxed and smug at our punctuality, tutting at those less fortunate when in fact the following day we found ourselves doing the exact same thing - running for a bus. And, it didn't stop there... we also had to run for several trains. I think i have almost perfected my public transport run.

Nobody is safe from the embarrasing run, NOBODY!

Music video

Now, have you ever had music on whilst travelling and made a music video in your head. Occasionally when im in a car or on a train listening to a song, depending on what im looking at it seems to make a great music video in my head... Everything fits in time with the music and it seems really cool and meaningful for a few seconds (magical stuff).

Then you realise how boring it would actually be to watch trees and clouds for 3 minutes.

How to eat

My parents have made comments before on the way i eat certain confectionery. In particular chocolate. Now i don't know about anyone else but i was never taught a specific way to eat chocolate, so therefore how can i be wrong.

Here are a few examples;
KitKat - trim the edges with your teeth until all chocolate has been removed. The top and bottom are dificult as the bar becomes weaker so may result in 'snappage'.
Cream Egg - bite off the top, lick it out(i just cant find a way to avoid that phrase).
Milky Way - similar to the kitkat, eat the chocolate so your left with the light, fluffy inside. Then if no-one is around roll it into a ball!

Also on a sweeter note:
Skittles - eat in order of worst to best, green, yellow, orange, purple, red.
Fruit Pastels/Starburst - Really you want to open the pack with a green showing, if it's a red things become difficult and could result in ripping the whole pack open to preserve the 'reds' until the end.

I've seen other people doing this too... most people have a plan about how they are going to tackle eating confectionary - STOP JUDGING!

Lyrical Genius

This is my first post, therefore it is the most important post i will ever make. There's one clear winner and it goes to: Jon Lajoie 'Show me your genitals'. Lyrical Genius! (statement from my brother).

I would put a link if i was a computer genius, but im far from - so i will ask my trusty friend charlotte tomorrow how these link video things work.